FINALLY THE DEMON IN MY CHILD HAS A NAME-ADHD

I knew there was always something different about my son Alexander even as a baby he was very high maitience,he did not crawl he literally got up one day and ran,he has always been of higher intelligence and anyone who met him would say the same id call him an old soul he used to do things that not toddler could possibly know.As he grew his thirst for knowledge and activity grew too,he was a child so full of energy it was hard to control,even to the point of needing to put him in a  child harness.but people would always tell me he is just a boy all boys are hyperactive its normal,yet something inside me knew different.
     when he was 2 and a half i was encouraged to en roll him into kindy i was very open to this as by then he was so over attached he always needed every second of my attention he would never leave me alone i mean i may as well of made a big pocket for him to sit in,i couldn't even go to the toilet alone,could not sleep alone in my bed. it took 3months of screaming at kindy before the day came when he said bye mum and ran off to play that was one of the best days ever!At kindy he was a handful listen to instructions? you have to be kidding Alex was born the boss of his life and anyone who disagreed would hear about it,i mean i did the best i could as a single mum and had to overcome alot on my journey to motherhood,but somehow I've made it this far...
By 3 i was at my wits end,the constant bad behaviour,the hyperactivity where my child could not even sit for 30sec and trust me i timed it,the impulsivity extreme my child had no foresight,everything was a one step action,the tantrums unbelievable to the point he would physically attack me and all i could do was react with the same force and sure now i regret every time i smacked him and i can never take those times back and have to live with that regret all my life,but at the time i was so lost in why my child was so horrible,and that's exactly what people thought that horrible naughty kid who gets away with everything yet it wasn't like that,i just got to a point where it wasn't worth the fight,i'd surrender immediately just so i wouldn't lose it pack his bag and drop him at the police station,and trust me i packed that bag a few times,so alone and so incapable of dealing with this child,doctors would turn me away saying he is too young we cant do anything go and do parenting classes,well i did that i did 5 parenting programs to prove to myself that it wasn't me that had caused this monster,even did a toddler behaviour program at the university to no help may i add.
       All i could do was to try and deal with it till someone would listen to me it took till he was 4years old when id had my second baby,a random visit to the local child health nurse to have him weighed where i just broke down,4 years of built up mixed emotions finally released and what a mess i would have looked like,but this nurse she wanted to help the first person to actually listen,she observed Alex for 10mins and was so clear that he needed to be seen by a paediatrician i had thought of it earlier but i really did not have the money for a private consult. So there that day started the long process of Alex's diagnosis.
         waiting lists more waiting hadn't i waited long enough,the frustration to its limits! but now i had some hope alot more than i ever had.
the pead appt came and its was obvious to anyone that assessed Alex something was not right,yet we still had his young age against us,we were referred to a program where 6 specialist do a 3month assessment on him,another waiting list...sighhh waiting i hated that the most
so he saw all the specialist but at the same time Alex was also being treated for sleep apnoea and hearing problems,he was constantly sick with 'astma'' and ''croup'' every few weeks we would end up in hospital because he couldn't breathe,on the ent wait list we go more waiting....sigh
so because of his health problem the specialists put his assessment on hold as they reckon it could be the root of his behaviour despite me telling them he was like this before these health problems came along,so finally after my boy suffering for so long we saw ent surgeon who took one look at Alex and put him straight on the surgery list to have his ears fixed,tonsils out,adenoids out. the surgeon said he was disgusted by how long Alex had suffered,but unfortunately your only a name on a long list at the hospital no age matters your condition doesn't matter until your get to see the surgeon that's when you you become important. The day of his surgery was the scariest day of my life never have i been so scared I've been physically sick i was that day,
           It was the hardest thing I've ever done help put my son on an operating table and watch them put him to sleep hoping with all that i am he would survive,and when 3 hours passed on a usual 1 hour operation that hole  in my stomach deepened to desperation to know what the hell was going on,so i just walked straight into the surgery reception and demanded to know what was happening was my son even alive??? thankfully he was he was on his way to recovery,it took longer because his tonsil's were the size of an adult man,his adenoids the same and his ears so bad it took 3 surgeons to fix them,i rushed to his side in recovery so thankful he came through it.
        a month later back to the specialist ,psychology for Alex and myself,speech therapy, behaviour therapy,we did those blocks of therapy pead suggested his behaviour was still the same,it took another 6 months before i got to see the pead again,that was 5weeks ago now,where finally the official diagnosis of ADHD and ODD. the demon that stole my child from me finally had a name, and now the pead was willing to help,what was next? we had tried all of the therapies what was left? Medication was what was left,now I've always been against ,that sort of medication for children., but i had to put what i felt aside,what was going to happen to Alex next year at school be the kid labelled as the naughty kid who wont listen or concentrate long enough to even write his name? i would be helping him to fail school from the beginning,i had to think about medication,it is worth the trial right? so i agreed to trial medication,we have been slowly increasing the dosage over the past few weeks trying to find the right amount,every time i crush up that pill i wonder am i doing the right thing???
        then day 3 came and bam who was this child?? stopping to hug me? watching a movie with me? who was this boy with a smile on his face? that child was mine the child he should have always been,should have been given the chance to be until this ADHD stole him from me. We are still in trial stages and as soon as the meds wear off he is that ADHD kid again the alien in my home,but if he can be him for those hours of school,that Alex who will have a chance to succeed why should i stop that from happening,he tells me he likes his medicine that it makes him feel good that it makes his head stop from talking too much,as long as he is happy i am happy!

      

My first blog

Well its my first blog,ive decided to to start a blog inspired by my brothers girlfriend who does one,and that i used to keep a written diary daily but ever since my children i seem to have lost that special moment to sit and write lost in the daily never ending tasks motherhood throws at you.
      Not even sure where to start or what to write i guess im on the right track even starting so im sure 5 years will eventually flow onto the page.
i sit here in my few moment of peace as my two beautiful children sleep,Alexander almost 5 and Steele 18months old,beautiful strong willed smart children,i truelly am blessed to have healthy children free of any serious problems. well guess ill write soon. xx